This is not the end!

Hi, my name’s Ava, I am 21 years old and I have not quite been myself for a while now. As a lot of you will know from some of my posts I have been battling anxiety and depression for a few years now which made me lose sight of who I am.

I started this blog with all the best intentions of using it to help get my life back on track vowing to “live a happier and healthier life”. I spent quite a while trying to fit in with the stereotypical blogger (no offense) and hey I’ve not just been doing it with blogging. For a few years I’ve been playing make believe trying to be something I’m not.

About a month ago now in a therapy session my therapist made me realise this. He likened it to a toddler trying to put wooden coloured shapes through wholes in a box and if you don’t put the right shape in the right whole it’s not going to fit. Basically my shining star of a self was never going to fit in the square or triangle spot I’d been trying to put itself in. Meaning I had to take a hard look at my life and work out where the star whole is.

Now I love writing so it’s not the blog that’s the problem it’s finding the right material to write about.

Around the same time as I had this session I discovered a wonderful and amazing blogger and YouTuber, the wonderful Megan Ellaby. This gorgeous fashion loving Mancunian reignited my love for clothes and more importantly styling.

I’ve always taken pride in my more quirky colourful dress sense but over the last few years my wardrobe has become quite lack luster and boring without me realising it. I quickly realised watching her videos where I had gone wrong in life.

Growing up I had a massive dressing up box and loved mixing up the items and creating new looks. Going into my teens I loved playing at being a fashion designer and in my later teens once I was out of a uniform at college I loved playing with my look going for something a bit more individual and upon my reflection a little bit cringy and scandalous.

Being trapped in the uniform of my job I had lost that side of me, although I still had the odd quirky piece I became very plain Jane. Which is why I am throwing out the old (two large bin bags full) I am leaving my uniform wearing job and I am reigniting my love for all things fashion.

I am currently doing a massive overhaul for my blog which includes moving to Wix (finally no more fighting with how my blog looks) and adding a butt load of fashion content. You’ll be able to shop my wardrobe and my wishlist as well as get my takes on the latest trends, including a bit of high street shopping inspiration.

As well as that I am leaving Sainsbury’s for a more fashion related retail job and am currently looking into courses to become a certified stylist.

I am so excited about all these changes and I can’t wait for you to see the new site!


Ava Caitlin x

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